Life is CRAZY!!!

Okay... so here's a little update on my crazy life (and yes, it's crazy!!)

1) I am now a Velata consultant.  It's part of the Scentsy Family, so it's happy!  Plus, it's chocolate fondue.  YUMMY!!!
2) I get to perform today at 4pm, and I'm scared out of my MIND!!  Seriously, I haven't been so nervous in a REALLY long time!  Maybe it's because I'm a perfectionist.  Maybe it's because we haven't practiced a whole lot.  Maybe it's because we are dancing on brick.  Maybe it's because it's finally cold outside and I'm wearing a tutu for the first time EVER.  Maybe it's because we'll be right on top of people.  Maybe it's because I've told so many people so we could have a crowd, and now I'm wishing no one was going to be there.  Oh... there's so many maybe's for why I'm nervous.  Either way, I will be the lilac fairy - the fairy of wisdom - the fairy who tells the story - the main fairy!
3) I get to take some vacation this week!!  Nothing major, and I'll just be here in Nacogdoches, but I don't have to go into my store, and that makes me happy!!!  I need the time... BAD!!
4) I guess I'll end here as I don't have anything else really... or at least it doesn't seem like it... Brandon and I are going to try to make things work.  We are both going to have to do some changing, but I love him.  I can't change that!  We are going to get some major help, and I'm glad!  I know things won't be perfect, and we will have our hard times, but I know it can be better!  I want it to be better!  One day I will have my temple sealing, and I hope it is sooner than later!!  So I request this one request.. PLEASE pray for us!  For us to be strong through this hard time, and for our hearts to be softened in the way it needs to be so that we can make it to the temple!

To have someone

Tonight is one of those nights that I wish I had someone to talk to or someone to just hold me. I want that someone special to share things in my life with. I want someone to get excited with me or someone to just be excited for me.

I got asked to join company tonight at the dance studio, and that's pretty exciting since I haven't danced in awhile. Truth, I feel very honored. But I'm left alone to celebrate.

The apartment is very lonely, even with a dog and cat. It's hard coming home alone as being alone all the time. Before I was alone a lot, but I knew it wouldn't be the entire night. I just want to be loved!!

Life is never how you plan it

I haven't written about this at all, but no one really reads this except every once in awhile, so I figured it was a safe place.

Brandon and I separated on 9/27/12. The night before was when it all went down and I was told I had to leave since I was the one that wanted out. Now, I could go into everything wrong in our marriage and even list the things that were right, but neither would be best.

This has been very hard on me, as I don't believe anyone really knows or sees that. I am losing my husband and friend. I am losing the person I have loved for over three years. At times I will joke or make it seem like it's okay, but it's not. It hurts so much.

My life was never meant to have a divorce a part of it, but it does. I just hope this goes quickly.

Atonement

So, I don't know a whole lot, but I am grateful for this. The atonement is so very real!

Alma 7:11-12 is an interesting read. He suffered for my trials and hardships way before my sins and faults. The atonement is for me always. I love that!! Not that He suffered, but that His suffering was for just the hard parts of life.

Yay!!

I'm down 5 pounds!! Only another 5-8 and I'll be where I want to be. With toning of course. :-)