Will I Ever Change?

It seems like I always look the same.  I may get a slight tan; I might change my hair color.  I gain weight, lose weight.  But in the end, I still look the exact same.  I never liked how I looked before so it's hard to like how I look now.  I know it's probably something I blog a lot about, but it's something real for me.  I really don't like what I see in the mirror.  It would just be nice to change... for the better of course.  :)

Question

I don't question about my job... no career.  I did that once and almost didn't get it back.  I know I'm doing exactly what I am supposed to be doing right now, and I love it!  It's not always easy, and yea, it can be very stressful.  But I love it so much!  I couldn't imagine doing anything else.

I don't question who I'm married too... already did that.  Brandon is the one for me, and I know we make a perfect match.  We are not perfect, and the marriage is not perfect, but us together is perfect.  I love him so much, and it seems like I love him more the less I see him.  LOL!  Maybe we just appreciate the time together more now that it is rare.  (Never easy being married to a General Manager for Pizza Hut when you are also a Store Manager for a clothing store.)

I do question where we live, but that, in time, will change.  We both want out of Nacogdoches, and I know it will happen one day.  It's just going to take some time.

I do question the Church.  I question different things in life that deal with it.  I don't question Jesus Christ or Heavenly Father.  I know they are real without a doubt, and love me so very much!  I question if it is where I am supposed to be.  That's hard for me as I never used to question it.  It was always something so important to me.  However, that's not the case anymore.  I don't miss going when I can't go.  I love attending Lufkin Ward when I can go (thank you President Wagley for permission to attend there!).  I love talking about the gospel and religious subjects.  I love going into the scriptures.  But there are things that I'm just not 100% sure about anymore as I see all those around me that I love who love the same things as I do without all the Church "rules" behind it.  It's good to ask questions and seek for more understanding, but this is getting ridiculous!

Am I a Christian?

Within this past week, many individuals have been upset by statements of "Mormons are not Christians."  I did not see this news interview, but I'm pretty sure I understand the situation as they are comments that have been made for years.

Here is my response...

To be a Christian is something that you don't go around shouting from the rooftops or wear a big sign that says "I'm a Christian."  To be a Christian, a follower of Christ, is to live your life in such a manner that there are no questions.  You serve others and love them for who they are, even if you don't agree with what they do.  You serve your family.  You serve yourself, and not in a selfish way.  You serve yourself by taking care of your body, your mind, and your well-being.

I am a Latter-day Saint, and that means more to me personally than it would to anyone else.  I am not perfect in any way, and I know that I don't always live my life in such a way that is always representing the Church.  Sorry, but it's the truth.  However, that does not mean that I do not try my hardest to live a Christ-like life.  I know who is most important, and that is Jesus Christ and Heavenly Father.

To me, it does not matter what you believe or how you live your life.  It matters that you live whatever it is you believe at the best of your abilities and recognize that there is someone far greater than you who loves you and guides you when you allow that individual to do so.  For me, I pray to my Heavenly Father in the name of His Son, Jesus Christ.  I know that for me, I have to go through Christ in order to return home.

The best response is not to be upset by the statements made, but to live your life as to where those that know you know what you stand for and who you are.  This life is hard enough without adding more to it. 

Life is Good

Life is good.  It doesn't always make sense.  Really, I'm not sure if it ever makes sense, but I know it's good and I enjoy it.  I work way too much, and I get to see my husband way too little.  My house is a wreck in so many different ways.  Laundry, clean and dirty, is piled up way too high.  The stress, the headaches, and the illness that's trying to come up and I know it will the moment I slow down.  The crazy animals that demand much of my attention.  My brain never shuts off, and is constantly creating lists and thoughts and ideas.  The desire to shop, or at least get a new outfit, is certainly calling my name.  It allows helps me be happy and feel pretty.  The ever growing numbers on the scale or the tightness of the pants/shirts never helps me feel pretty or be happy.

Life is crazy in every way possible, but it is good!  I know things are working out for the best, and I know they will in the end.  I just hope that I figure things out and am on the right path!