Thursday, November 15, 2012

Selfish??

As life continues to move forward and different things happen in my life to me or those around me, I tend to ponder even more.  I start to wonder more about my life and my dreams.  I begin to think about where I've been and where I am going.

Life is far from perfect for me, and honestly, I will be shocked if I don't die during the holidays... just saying.  Retail has done a number on me, and I can honestly say that I dislike the holidays greatly.  I am sorry as I know many love them and I should too, but I don't.  It because a very busy and hectic time, and this year, I have no clue what my holidays are going to look like.  I have no clue what I will get ANYONE, or really any idea on who I should be buying for this year.

But back to my ponderings and dreams...

So I have this big dream of being a mother, and I really hope that one day it will come true.  I mean, I know it will, but I don't want to be crazy old!  But it's just something my heart desires so much, and children bring me so much joy.

I also have a dream of being my own boss and owning my own business.  I keep thinking about a dance supply store, and it would be amazing!  However, do I really want to stay in Nacogdoches?  Is it the right thing for me to do?  There are so many questions that go with this dream.

And one last thing that constantly comes to mind that I often wonder if I'm being selfish about, but I really want to make a difference.  I want to be a positive influence on those around me.  I want to do something that people remember.  I want to be that girl that people say "go to Angela for this or that..."  So many people have things they are known for or remembered by... I honestly don't believe I've done anything, and I don't know what I can/could do.  :-/  Is it selfish to want to make a difference and have those around me actually remember me?

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