Pain

I'm so tired of hurting!  I'm so tired of crying!  I'm so tired of not being able to breathe more often than not!  Can you tell, I'm just tired!!

I read a conference talk this past Sunday during Sacrament meeting as I tend to have a hard time focusing on the speakers... sorry!  And it really struck me!  I even shared it with my dad, and it was something he really liked to.

It's Of Regrets and Resolutions by President Uchtdorf.  Wow... it really is a wonderful talk.  I have regrets in my life, and I even have the regrets listed in this talk.  (I'll place them below so you can see them together.)

1) I wish I had spent more time with the people I love.
2) I wish I had lived up to my potential.
3) I wish I had let myself be happier.

I can look over the past almost 30 years of life, and see where I wish I would have done differently because of one of those three.  Maybe things would be so much different now had I spent more time with the people I love, like Brandon, or had held onto the iron rod as I knew I should.  Maybe things would be different if I would just stop having such high expectations for myself and appreciate what is there instead of what isn't.

So now I need to find my happiness amongst the craziness and pain!  Life can be better, and I am the one that can make it better!  But right now, it's hard and I need your prayers!  Normally I don't ask for those, but I really need them!!