You know what I hate...

I really hate that I'm not close to my family.  Seriously, I don't feel like I'm all that close to anyone in my family except for my parents.  Which I absolutely love being close to my parents, but what about my brother, my aunts and uncles, my cousins, and even my last living grandmother?!  I think the last time I actually spoke to my brother was when he came home for a quick visit, and we really only saw each other for a few hours during that time... yea, that was back in like August/September.  Why are some families so close, and some so far apart?!  I don't like it, but I have NO clue how to fix it.  UGH!  And I feel so distant from them.  I can be in the same room, and feel so scared and nervous.  I will be completely loss for words, and yet, you put me in a store full of women I have no relation to in any way, I can talk to them with such ease.  :-/  I want it fixed!!